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Pieces of my video project.

Well.

I lost my job on Tuesday. I was fine, and then I panicked in a way I hadn’t in years. I forgot how it easy it is to be unsure of things. I forgot what it is like to start all over again. You think that it will be easier once you are older because with age comes wisdom, but that is not the case. I am older, but I know now how risky everything is, how nothing is as straightforward and rational as we want it all to be. Things won’t happen the way we want them to…maybe they are not supposed to in the end.

With that said, I took a shot of fireball with my coworker at 5 and knew that change is not always wrong or bad. Sometimes we must be forced out of the situations we find ourselves in. Sometimes our comfort is lacking, but we stay put because it is all we know. I’ve been there with relationships, with friendships especially. We play these scenarios out again and again until we learn from the past. Eventually, we become better and stronger. But it takes time and care. I’m learning to take care of myself.

"Malfunction" by Tirzah

I really love the simplicity of Tirzah’s instrumentation coupled with the complexities and depth of her lyrics and vocals. It’s something of a perfect match. Her voice is all smooth and warm-like, yet her instrumentation is sparse, bare, a testament to true minimalism. If the other components are compelling enough, the song can and will still shine. 

I was naive to believe we are concerned for each other - strangers and family alike - equally. I was naive to think that we are all strong in mind and body. I was naive to think of anyone but myself. I was naive to try when everything told me not to again and again.

I like this because it touches on the appeal of Snapchat: its ability to become quick reminders of the people around you. Barrett sends me some of the greatest, most hilarious, most endearing Snapchats and even if I haven’t seen him in a couple of weeks, I am reminded of why he is such a great friend. They can act as quick, visual messages that resonate more than a text message and a phone call because they won’t last. That’s the key. By opening it, you are acknowledging that it won’t last forever, that you have settled in for this quick moment and that it will be gone. 

"Sometimes" by Oscar

I’ve always enjoyed Oscar’s music, which at times reminded me of Orange Juice. This latest track sounds like a straight descendant of Television Personalities. It’s loud and short and quirky and bright, like my favorite Television Personalities songs. This faster-paced direction seems like the right one for Oscar’s music. 

(Cloud)

"Julia" by SZA

Basically all I did today was walk around, sip limonadas, eye flirt with all of the men who suddenly looked good, and listened to SZA. It was a great taste of what the summer could be and I’m on board. 

"Julia" is so unlike everything else on SZA’s album, but I still love it. It’s got massive crossover appeal with those classic synths and ear worm indie pop chorus. It’s the sort of song of summer that sneaks up on you. Before you realize it, you’ve memorized all of the lyrics and a chill has suddenly bitten the air. 

So I will say this much about my day job: we have a style and beauty blog and the ladies behind it are fantastic. They recently asked me to participate in a beauty round table and it’s now up on their site. Truth be told, I know next to nothing about makeup, but I appreciate it greatly. I’m more of a lipstick-only kind of girl. I talked about skin care, which is my obsession. I’m allergic to everything and repeatedly suffer for it. Bananas, avocados, tree nuts … life is not fun. Also, of course I’m the tallest person in this photo. Story of my life. 

"Fall in Love" by Phantogram

Can’t get everything about this out of my head: the lights, the visuals, the outfits, and of course the perfectness of the song itself.

Anonymous asked: How can I improve my writing? Are there any exercises or activities I can undertake to get better, besides reading a wider variety of material?

Read whatever you can get your hands on. Everyone says this, but it’s true. I don’t discriminate. Novels, essays, poetry, nonfiction … basically anything. I don’t know if I’m where I want to be as a writer (are we ever?) but I do know my writing is stronger the more I read, the more ideas are running through my head, the more I have a better idea of what I do and don’t like, do and don’t believe, do and don’t trust. 

Anonymous asked: I think you are one of the most interesting people I've ever met (through your blog, of course!) I wish you lived in England so I could meet up with you for a cup of coffee, sometime and discuss all the topics you post about on your blog and in your writing. Topics I used to discuss with university friends who I haven't seen in a while. The personality that comes through your writing reminds me of them :) (I hope that doesn't sound too stalker-ish)

It doesn’t sound stalkerish! And I wish I lived in England too (or at least got a chance to visit). My current favorite music certainly comes from there! Thank you for the message :D

"Here For You" by Gorgon City featuring Laura Welsh

Been listening to this light, bright summer tune and wishing it was summer. We are close, barely hitting spring. The instrumentation of this one is simple enough, but hits on those particularly warm moments that feel most like the freedom of the sun. 

Super in love with brittanyhollowaybrown's illustrations. Would love to keep all of these on my walls. I'd like to embody the essence of the above in my everyday, or at least in summer. 

Quick watercolor practice of a fat-bottomed girl. Super messy because I can’t keep my hands or brushes clean, that’s why there’s an arbitrary black streak by her thigh :( sigh. I’ll probably clean up in Photoshop later! 

A study of this jumpsuit and pose but of course, I had to put my own spin on it. I really want something like this for summer! 

Did a little photo shoot with Emma Arnold, street style photographer of Tres Awesome, and Warby Parker. Above are a couple of images. It was super cold that day and I decided to keep my hair as is. You can see the rest here