At the Dan Deacon/Girl Talk show last...
Me to Random Guy with his Girlfriend: Could you like, move ten inches? It's just that, you're not a small guy and you've decided to plant yourself on my feet.
Guy's Girlfriend: Are you gonna dance?
Me: What?
Guy's Girlfriend: Are you gonna dance?
Me: (long pause) Probably.
Guy's Girlfriend: Why aren't you dancing?
Me: Well, there's no room, you know, with your boyfriend literally standing on my feet for a good minute. But, I don't really like Dan Deacon.
Guy's Girlfriend: Why would you come to a Girl Talk show if you're not gonna dance?
Me: This isn't Girl Talk. (long pause) It's Dan Deacon.
Jan 27th
My friend Hafsa and I on Heath
me: i know
i think with celebrities
there is this stigma that as much as we try to bring them to our level, we can only ever interact with them on a superficial level, as if they are put in our lives for our pleasure
and so when one dies
it's like something has been ripped from the everyday fabric of how we get along in the world
hafsaarain: yeah its a grief we're not used to
me: which is why i think i'm so upset about it
yeah
hafsaarain: and that we're never taught how to handle
because its not sad in a validating sort of way
me: exactly. we feel a connection that essentially shouldn't be there, but still is and so we don't know how to go about the loss
hafsaarain: and this happened less than an hour ago
wow
me: i know. it's also interesting in the aspect of how fast celebrity news can be reported. i was thinking about it, and i realized that heath very much represents a certain part of my childhood and adolescence and that, with him dying, it's almost as if those things are no longer a part of me like, i can't claim to still be a part of that world once a central figure of it is gone and ofcourse that sounds terribly narcissistic, but...yeah
hafsaarain: no i understand what you mean. my teacher in high school said the same thing when john ritter died
and she talked about how she kind of grew up with threes company
me: yeah. it's just very strange when someone you don't know is connected to specific parts of your existence
Jan 22nd