I wrote about ideas of race, privilege, and assumptions we make about each other based on false senses of intimacy. The full essay is at the link above.
Last week, I found a comment on an article I wrote that said, “Why don’t yo write about how your parents pay your rent,” (along with “stay home kill yourself”). It was the first comment that made me particularly upset. I had never, I soon realized, been confronted with those kind of ideas of privilege.
A certain level of privilege was assumed based on the fact that I was able to be writing my thoughts about anything at all in a public space. And in a sense, I do hold that privilege. I know that I worked hard to get where I am, but I also was able to pursue the types of writing that I like because I had a day job and spent countless years living at home with my parents and saving.
If anything, the situation showed me that privilege is multifaceted and more complicated than how we address it in public. It’s not just black and white privilege or rich and poor privilege. Privilege can be acquired in bits and pieces. But more importantly, we view how people interact with each other and the world through the eyes of privilege, imagined or otherwise. They couldn’t possibly be where they are without an upper hand, one might say. And perhaps that is true. But what if it isn’t? And why do we assume that that is the only way to gain success?
I’ve thought about this a couple of times and here are possible changes:
I had a different Spring playlist in mind, but much like the weather, it was out of place and not right for right now. I began thinking about what is new, fresh, and interesting, and thus, this mix was born. There are a handful of older tracks thrown in, but consider this my version of TRL’s “Brand Spanking New” week.
CLEAN-UP, a Mixicisms
STREAM (or stream it below) or DOWNLOAD (1 or 2)
“NOTHING MORE TO SAY/EEEHHH” by SOPHIE
“Heartless” by A*M*E (MNEK Remix)
“You & Me” by Disclosure
“Recloose” by Dust (featuring Joe Dukie)
“Get Lucky” by Daft Punk (Radio Edit)
“Invitation” by Tropics
“Imagine It Was Us” by Jessie Ware
“So Here I Come” by Neneh Cherry
“Never Told You” by Oscar
“Pizza Guy” by Touch Sensitive
“Blackout” by Wretch 32 (featuring Shakka)
“Bank Head” by Kingdom
“I Heard” by Young Fathers
“Left Alone” by Flume (featuring Chet Faker (Ta-Ku Remix))
“Entertained” by Last Night In Paris (featuring JaJa)
“Bourgeois” by Phoenix
“Looks Good With Trouble” by Solange
“Dreams-Come-True-Girl” by Cass McCombs (featuring Karen Black)
“Hat Trick ” by Empress Of
“Ladders” by Valentina
“Fire” by Bipolar Sunshine
“Pegasus” by GEMS
(FYI: The stream is missing a couple of tracks as they were not available on Soundcloud.)
Beyonce tags photos of herself as ‘my work’ on tumblr. Performances are literally her work and her public image is a performative work of art. Beyonce is the art of stardom. Beyonce is the art of pop.
“Let It Go” by Fe
Fe’s soft vocals initially trick you into thinking that this will be something quieter and pleasant. At times, she sounds like a more active Hope Sandoval. But that bass drum comes in heavy and doesn’t let go, powering the song forward into something memorable and epic.
I was really excited to talk to Jonah Ansell, the director of the short animated film Cadaver. Starring Tavi Gevinson, Kathy Bathes, and Christopher Lloyd, Ansell is a native of Oak Park, the suburb my family moved to and live in. Tomorrow, the Museum of Contemporary Art, Chicago will be screening the film. There will also be a discussion with Tavi and book signing for the accompanying graphic novel.
New Disclosure!
“You & Me” by Disclosure featuring Eliza Doolittle
I love how much they believe in and support unknown vocalists. I read an interview with them touching on this same subject and they basically said, “Why would we not choose great singers?” This is just another example of their love of great singers. So yeah, duh, I love it.
Anna Weiner in “Falling Hard” for The Paris Review
This bothers me so much and it is one of the things I hate about this moment, this time in my twenties. I say this as someone that has a blog that can be personal. But most people who meet me can not connect the two because what I present here is a very small sliver of my everyday. It is a piece of me. It is not everything. It could never be everything.
But this affected intimacy is one way of not making friends. Barrett and I have discussed this a couple of times in the past. You go to a party and meet someone new. But before you learn their last name, you learn about their former alcohol dependency. You learn about their abusive ex-lover. You learn about their debts. What should be secrets for later or never are shared so easily, as if they don’t matter. But the basic things … you have to pull them out with great force. It’s like we barter, trading one form of intimacy for another. We reveal things that should be personal to hide our true selves, in fear of how others will react.
Comments
I was inspired to keep writing about the idea of walking with purpose, confidence, and changing one’s view of the world through the body. The result is below:
(via wbez)
(Image: © Chantelle Nash)
“The Strut”
by Britt Julious
Objecthood is taught at a young age, is felt even earlier. Strength in form in moving lets us literally take back the things around us, the public space. If I am most comfortable in my home, in my room, then I will move with purpose to feel comfortable everywhere. I will take back the outside that has made me feel raw and rigid and wrong and instead. This is mine now: these streets, these sidewalks, this world. If only for a little bit, I will make certain that this is true.
When I write, it is about the body. It is not a fascination. It has moved beyond that point into a series of questions that must now be answered. It is about justice and security and purity of form. It is about being one with oneself and having that only matter.
Our postures exists as a method of deception. The way we move tells others who we are. Or rather, the way we move tells others who we want to be, who we want to share with the world. Last year I covered myself in sequins and sparkles to mask an underlying insecurity that felt, at the time, to rise out of nowhere. And this year I’ve embraced moving with purpose. This is not about hiding who we are, not really. Rather, it is about what we do to blend in, what we do to embrace normalcy. And if we can not achieve that goal of averageness, then we must stand out in a bright light, away from the troubles of our interiority.
My friend Alysse once said, “You walk with confidence. You strut.” We were discussing an interview she gave about her accessory company, Ready-to-Stare. People have said things about the way I walk in the past. When I was younger, I too was obsessed with placement and movement. My bones grew in twisted. I spent years wearing funny orthopedic shoes and re-learning how to walk in the “right” way, the way my mother said was how I was meant to move.
Naomi Campbell was and is a symbol of strength and purpose. I was obsessed with what she represented to me as a young girl. In the extended version of Beyonce’s “Get Me Bodied,” she references the Naomi Campbell Walk, a strut down the runway that is so memorable to be referenced by numerous generations. When I hear that line, I can’t help but smile for I too see the greatness in her limbs. Naomi was not only the most famous black model of her time or of all-time. She is the best ever. She dominated in a culture that, at least from the outside, does not appear made for her. Naomi’s walk is and was an instructional manual. This is how you survive in a world that excludes, that thrives at breaking you down, that wants nothing more than to see you cower: You push through it. You show them everything you have. You be the best without question.
To move with purpose is to rebel against the world that manipulates how we exist within it. I think about the way men are told the world is made for them, out loud or implied, and how they move within it with that knowledge. Think about the way a man crowds the train seats, how his legs are stretched wide and free, how he lives for comfort. I do this thing: I press my body together tightly, making sure I take up as little space as possible. I move my belongings onto my lap. I put my things away – my phone or book – for things imply space, room, an open physicality. When I learned this, I don’t know. But I hate it. I recognize it. We do not move with that freedom of space. I do not move with that freedom of space. But I crave it. And when given the chance to take back what was taken from me through a long stride, a straight back, a head held high, I do so and do not let go. I can not afford the alternative.
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My posture exists as a method of deception. Someone said, “You walk with confidence. You strut.” But really, this back and neck and limbs move to hide my interiority. If we are visual beings, then this is an act of rebellion against the limitations of self. What I feel, I think, does not have to be all that I am. We do what we can to hide our realities until this play on self becomes the real truth. Someone said, “You walk with confidence,” and soon, it became that actual confidence that seemed so far away, so unlike what I knew to be true. It is the acceptance of the world and the defiance against it. The world is dark and dangerous and troubling. It will try to break you. But what matters is what you do about this. The hunched back is the forfeiture to the past, the present.
“Heartbreaks + Setbacks” by Thundercat
This is not only Thundercat’s best song, it is also the one that I imagine will break through with a larger audience. It’s just a fantastic combination of his bass virtuosity mixed with a memorable, lovely melody. Not that he wasn’t exhibiting all of that before. But this latest track pushes everything forward. It’s more stunning, more complete. This new album should be nothing short of amazing.
Oh Rand Paul, thanks for providing laughs. The Kentucky Senator and tea Party favorite visited Howard University to “connect” and asked a series of condescending questions to the students. When politicians put themselves into fish out of water situations, what exactly are they trying to accomplish?
I was a last minute addition to Vocalo’s “The Morning AMp” program today for the 9-10am hour. Today’s discussion focused on politics and social issues. Above, a link to a discussion about Rand Paul’s recent semi-disastrous appearance at Howard University.
Tweet of my fandom life. Jamie Brittain, co-creator of Skins, read my WBEZ article on e4 shows. In case you missed it…
© Brittany Julious 2007 - 2013
